Setting Sail on the S.S. Vagabondage

I am curious, intelligent, and a huge proponent of personal growth, so over the years I have read a veritable ton of books on the psychology of self-esteem, happiness, spirituality and self-help by just about every guru, expert, scientist and psychologist out there. Hell, I’d even read some Tony Robbins back in the day.

And then there’s the four years of undergraduate studies in (hello!) psychology where I was introduced to theories on everything from sexual behaviour among bonobo monkeys (kinky stuff) to self-deception – you do know we’re experts at pulling the wool over our own eyes when it suits us, right?  - so the whole realm of figuring out ‘my stuff’ is not new to me.

Human behaviour fascinates me – our patterns, tendencies, motives, belief systems, and everything in between – and that interest, in tandem with the myriad neuroses I tote around on a daily basis, has led me to: one-on-one counselling – you betcha; support groups – been there done that; and career & self-esteem workshops – oh yes, several.

So, why the hell couldn’t I just get my shit together and start living life the way I was meant to?

It turns out that, amazingly,  there was something I hadn’t tried yet.

Compasses and Maps

Turns out all of those books, support groups and workshops were useful and necessary resources according to the circumstances I was dealing with at those particular times in my life, however circumstances change. Paths diverge, people change, and so does our need for certain directionals, signposts, and support systems.

And it just so happens that a coach is the kind of compass I need in my life right now because I am becoming the captain of my own ship, embarking on life with a new pair of eyes, a pair open to seeing things on a far more open, vast and brighter scale.

So, I need someone who knows how to help interpret my inner topography, which is full of unexplored, exotic and exciting places with names like The Isle of Infinite Gifts, where all of my natural talents and abilities are acknowledged and voiced; The Forgetting Tree, where I let go of beliefs and thought patterns that no longer serve me; Love’s Bluff, a place where I express appreciation, love and gratitude for my life as it is today (at the top of my lungs if I feel like it!). These are just some of the places that have appeared more prominently on the scene since I began my coaching experience.

Staying On Course

Coaching is not about someone telling you what to do, when or how to do it. It’s much more than that.

A coach is a guide, a mentor, a sailing partner willing to steer you back on course using your inner map and no one else’s. It’s about looking at where you are and asking ‘what now?’ instead of ‘why?’ and coming to the understanding that in a lot of cases the ‘why?’ isn’t helpful, and working with ‘what now?’ is.

One of the most important things I’ve learned in the last 2 months of coaching is that no matter where you are you’ve got to establish a foundation to stand on before you can fly – start the business, go back to school, travel to Europe, quit your job and go renegade etc. – before you can make the choices that are best for you, you need to be on solid ground.

Grab the oxygen mask. Breathe for awhile. It’s going to be okay.

Then, set the sails full steam ahead and get ready to fly.