I woke up early, awakened by a belly grumbling with hunger.

What do you hunger for?

I like feeling the hunger.

It reminds me there are many things in life I hunger for, perhaps some days, even long for.

I hunger for solitude.

Time alone, away from the demands of people and life. I hunger for the silence that becomes my companion in the solitude.

“I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” – Henry David Thoreau

I hunger for freedom.

To do what I want when I want. And even though I mostly live my life this way, some days I want freedom from all responsibility.

I hunger for intimacy.

I long to move beyond the superficial, the comfortable, the ‘normal’ and surrender to the intimate and connected.

“…available people are the ones who are dangerous, because they confront us with the possibility of real intimacy.” – Marianne Williamson

I hunger for the unknown.

I want to share myself beyond what I already know, where I’ve already been.

I hunger for openness.

Self-preservation and protection sometimes sneak in and make me forget.

“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.” – Chuck Palahniuk

I hunger for the deliciousness of life.

Life sometimes seems a buffet; a dilemma because I like choice but don’t always want to choose.

I hunger for fire in the belly.

For light and passion, for giving it my all, thoroughly used up when I die.

“Good men and good women have fire in the belly. We are fierce.” – Sam Keen

Over to you:

What do you hunger for?

What nourishment is missing that might make the difference?

Inspired by Rachel Cole.

Three years old and owning the dance floor!

I am NOT sorry for. . .

dancing by myself on the dance floor, at 3 or now

being intense and passionate and sometimes “too much”

being a girl/woman with strong opinions

hitting that boy in grade 3 when he called me stupid

having a voice and using it

unleashing my Lola and yours

upsetting an uncle by telling the truth when he asked my opinion

loving people as much as I do, even when they mess up

leaving a great opportunity when my boss was an asshole

I am NOT sorry for. . .

poo-poohing superficial communication

talking to strangers

being selfish instead of selfless – I am not a martyr

my wit and humour, and sometimes sarcasm

disobeying the rules

taking a stand for what I want

asking you to choose now over someday

NOT sorry for that at all.

I am also NOT sorry for. . .

crying easily and often

sharing and loving more than “acceptable”

writing what’s in my heart

calling bullshit when I hear it

disagreeing with the status quo

leading more than following

refusing to settle

I want what I want and sorry be damned!

Most of all, I am NOT sorry for. . .

being curious about you, life, and what makes us tick

asking questions when I don’t understand

discomfort – there’s no  magic in the comfort zone! 

growing and learning and wanting the best out of life

being bold and full of moxie

laughing loud, often and unabashedly

being a demand for love, intimacy and connection in my relationships

pursuing my dreams, even though some have not worked out

shining bright and asking you to do the same

loving so deeply I thought I would die when it ended

and having the courage to love again.

I am NOT sorry for turning 49 today.

Every single thing that’s happened in my life, whether I enjoyed it or not, has caused me to grow, transform and become more myself than I ever thought possible.

And I am so NOT sorry for that.

Inspired by A Year With Myself and Dyana Valentine.

When I was a kid my mom encouraged activities like music and academics. She was a bit of a worrier and didn’t encourage a lot of physical activities, sports and stuff. I grew up with books, art and music as my primary interests.

But I really, really wanted to do all that other stuff.

I especially wanted to play baseball. One year I pestered her long enough that she agreed. I tried out, made the team and then soon after broke two fingers; my budding baseball career in ruins.

Summer camp? Not going to happen.

There was no way Mom was going to let me (or the siblings) head off into the wild blue yonder without her!

And so I dreamed of summer camp with its cool activities, late night conversations in the cabin, and singing ’round the campfire.

But alas, I never went.

Fast forward 40 years. . .

I comment on an article written by my friend and colleague Jenny Bones which sets off a fit of giggles as we imagine being friends as kids. It’s the kind of quick online conversation that leaves me grinning as I get back to work.

A few days later my phone rings and it’s Jenny B on the line.

She’s excited!

She’s got an idea, a proposition really, and says I’m the gal she wants to collaborate with. An hour later (after much hilarity and snorting of the out loud kind) we have a vision, individual to-do lists and excitement bubbling over for our new adventure together.

Oh. My. God. So much laughing! My core values of fun, connection and creativity, were all vibrating like perfectly plucked guitar strings. (They play guitar around the campfire, don’t they? So sad that I don’t know these facts!)

Before I tell you what this has to do with summer camp, I want to shine the light on something that happened between us – and it happened so fast it could have easily been missed.

If you’re not open to it, you won’t see opportunity when it comes knocking.

Jenny and I were both wanting to create something new and we were open to possibilities. So after the play and ease of our conversations, Jenny saw an opportunity and grabbed it (she’s good like that!)

She didn’t wait for the stars to align.

She didn’t try to figure it all out before calling me.

And once on the phone she didn’t try to convince me.

She simply let her enthusiasm compel her forward, first in picking up the phone, and then in sharing her excitement.

That, my friends, is how great ideas manifest into real world results.

(more…)

What might happen if you acknowledged your gifts openly?

Would your lizard brain raise its head and demand silence or. . .would it allow you to shine the way you’re meant to?

Let’s put it to the test, shall we?

I’ll go first , then you let it rip in the comments.

Things I’m deeply proud of

1.  I completed an honours degree in Fine Arts with a dream of making my way in the world as an artist.

While I never made it to the New York art scene, my passion for art oozed into other areas of my life and creativity, one of my core values, was honoured.

2.  Less than a year after knee surgery I ran a half marathon.

After the surgery the doctor gave me a list of things I should no longer do (included running and dancing) – I was 33 and decided to to prove him wrong.

It may not have been the smartest thing to do, but according to Sally Hogshead’s 7 Triggers of Fascination my primary trigger is rebellion (not so surprising!) so what I did totally makes sense.

3.  I’ve been self-employed for almost 12 years, first as a photographer and then as a coach.

There are so many resources now to help you leave the corporate world, ditch your boring job, and design a life you love. Twelve years ago, not so much.

I didn’t come from a long line of entrepreneurs and looking back, I really had no clue how great the challenge. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, following a vision and correcting course as required.

Credentials (or proof-that-I’m-the-real-McCoy)

1.  I’m a Solution Focused Coach, on a mission to wake you up from your ‘someday thinking’.

I’ve got close to 7,500 hours of coaching under my belt (a Master Certified Coach credential requires 2,500 hours) and have worked with hundreds of amazing people over the years.

2.  I am certified in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming).

I love personal development, and one of my favourite areas of study has been NLP.  Google it and you’ll find over 57,600,000 results but the definition I like the best - finding ways to help people have better, fuller and richer lives. Says it all for me.

(more…)

Ever notice that nothing much happens in your comfort zone?

Makes me wonder why we try so hard to stay in it when the magic is all out there in the uncertainty we call discomfort.

An Example, An Admission and A Lizard

About a month ago I was invited to be a guest on Radio Enso, a radio show whose purpose is to inspire conscious living. I was delighted to be contacted and said yes to host Greg Berg’s invitation.

Immediately after the excitement of the yes came a shiver of fear. Not surprising as fear and excitement are so often companions. Leo Babauta calls this Joyfear, “a mixture of intense joy and intense fear in one ball of powerful emotions.”

Oh yeah, could I relate!

Fast forward to the day of the call and my old pal Lizzie (my lizard brain) reared her head and began a very loud onslaught on my confidence. Even though I’ve done a fair amount of public speaking, including presenting and teaching programs, the level of anxiety I felt an hour before the call was intense. You could say that Joyfear had been replaced by panic.

It affected me mentally (what the hell am I going to talk about?), emotionally (why did I say yes?) and physically (I’m really not feeling well; maybe I should cancel!)

It had been a long time since I’d felt such a strong reaction from Lizzie and she really got my attention!

So why the confession? 

Because over the years I’ve had hundreds of conversations about overcoming fear and causing breakthroughs in confidence.

(more…)

In random order, 23 things I love about coaching:

23. The intake of breath I hear when you are about to go deeper than expected.

22. Emails that share your excitement about a new project!

21. The reciprocity of the coaching relationship. I get as much as I give. Every. Single. Time. 

20. Conversations about values.

19. An impromptu voicemail message with a joy-filled update! 

18. Fanning the flames of your greatness.

17. Holding the space for you to step into the unknown.

16. Waiting for you to call, thinking of who you are and what you’re up to in the world.

15. Text messages sharing a win that you couldn’t wait to share!

14. Silence. . .sometimes uncomfortable, more often sacred.

13. Being with “I don’t know” instead of being an expert.

12. Connecting with people all over the world.

11. Igniting your desire to go where you’ve never gone before.

10. Switching up my hats – from cheerleader to kick-ass, from accountable to woo woo – I love it all.

9.  Laughing with delight when you get that you KNOW what to do next!

8.  Meeting in person when possible and hugging the you I know so well over the phone.

7.  Asking a question that leaves you speechless.

6.  Sharing my own journey and knowing we’re on the same path.

5.  Eliminating an old belief that’s kept you stuck.

4.  Letting you know I believe in you.

3.  Crushing your someday thinking.

2.  Lulling your lizard brain to sleep. Shhh. . .

1.  Watching you share your gifts with the world.

For these 23 and so many more, being a coach is what I’m here for and YOU are why I do what I do.

BURNING QUESTION:

What is your relationship to excitement?

Confession time. . .I’m easily excited.

You weren’t really surprised, were you?

Truth is, some days it hardly takes anything at all and I’m lit up like a roman candle! 

I think of it as a way of being AND my relationship to the world.

Maybe that sounds Pollyanna-esque.

Maybe you think I’m wearing rose-coloured glasses, totally out of touch with reality.

But (and this is a very important but). . .

if it feels good and empowers you why would that be a problem?

I’ll tell you why; because our conditioning begins in childhood with phrases like:

• Rein it in.
• Settle down.
• Don’t show off.

And you learn how to turn your excitement right down to a manageable level or even worse, suppress it completely.

That my friends, is a sad state of affairs.

(more…)

“There are four questions of value in life. . .

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

What is worth dying for?

The answer to each is the same.

Only love.”

- Don Juan de Marco

I’m a doer.

I like action. And results.

I really like results and making things happen.

But it’s a fast and slippery slope to a driven kind of energy that stops feeling good before I’ve reached the bottom.

The drive, the doing, the “making things happen” . . .all get in the way. (more…)

The mere thought of the woman in today’s spotlight makes me smile. She is always positive, encouraging, supportive and loving. Yes, I did say always and I also mean all ways.

Who is this model of positivity you might be wondering. . .

It’s Teresa Deak, (a.k.a. Picsie Chick) and forgive me for gushing a bit but she really is extraordinary.

“In every man’s heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.” – Christopher Morley

More than anyone I’ve known, Teresa answers to the vibrations of beauty. It is her way of being in the world.

I first knew of her as a photographer with an amazing eye for detail, so much so that the tagline on her photography site is, “Beauty in small things. Beauty in all things.”  

“To witness the Beauty in a flower is to drink in the whole world.” – Teresa Deak

Truth be told, she is a Renaissance woman as you’ll see once you read her words in this spotlight.

Artist, entrepreneur, social butterfly, bearer of love and sharer of gratitude, I love that she’s here shining brightly in the spotlight. Enjoy!

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

1. Why are you here?

When I was young I realized that our reason for being in this life is to experience joy, truly and deeply.

Today this idea has grown into its fullness for me. God, having been the excuse for bad behaviour for too many centuries, needed a new name, and so I have called this spirit river we all have, we all swim in together, Gratitude.

I’ve revealed her four elements as Thankfulness, Awareness, Community and Kindness. And now I want us all to live in her together.

2. What is your future self calling for?

There’s this insistent call to be on a Ted stage, to be surrounded by gigantic beautiful photos I’ve taken and quietly walk people with me to the center of the flower, to the center of their heart, to swim in Gratitude with me.

I see Gratitude workshops in rooms filled with creative and beautiful people, in locations all over North America, connected virtually with locations all over the world.

I see a growing movement of Gratitude bringing our generations to a peace and connection more vibrant and dynamic than we’ve seen before.

3. How do you honour that calling?

I’m practicing guiding people by teaching classes and running workshops on social media. While the subject matter tends to be more technical, I look for ways to bring a gratitude heart and butterfly touches to all that I teach.

I’ve recently released the Gratitude Tarot deck to the world. 79 lovingly created photo cards organized into arcanas of Thankfulness, Awareness, Community and Kindness, with interpretations by Sara Blackthorne. I believe this is a first big step towards that real calling future.

And daily I connect with my people, sending butterflies where they seem needed, helping where I can, connecting always.

4. What is both effortless and life-giving to you?

Seeing the infinite in the small, living the big that is the intimate. In photos and connections, and long talks with other souls who are struggling under the weight of too much.

“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.”
- Anne Frank

5. What do you do best?

Notice small things.

To some people my powers of observation may seem random (I sometimes miss completely obvious things), but I nevertheless seem to see small, beautiful, important things that can open your soul and lighten the weight of your heart.

6. What is extraordinary about your work?

That somehow my camera can expose feelings, not just colour and light and shadow.

That somehow words can help us to fall into the heart of an image.

That connections between us can be magical and uplifting and a web of beauty.

And none of it comes from me, instead it finds its way to the world through me. . .and my lens.

7. What is guaranteed to inspire you?

Sunshine! The dance of light and dark on the beauty in (sm)all things.

Kindness! The unexpected gestures that buoyantly raise our hearts.

Connections! The abiding belief that not any of us is ever alone.

These are just the first things to leap up into my mind. There is so much in this world that I think I am constantly surprised by what inspires me.

8. What will your epitaph say if you’ve lived life on your terms?

She saw Beauty, however small, and released her to the world on butterfly wings.

Boy meets girl. I was 16.

Boy & girl grow up together.

Boy gives girl ring. Promises future.

Boy leaves girl. No longer a girl. I was 30.

The facts don’t tell the whole truth.

They rarely do.

For how could these simple facts tell the story of first love, promise and heartbreak without being a cliché?

I once read that however long a relationship lasts is how long it will take to get over it when it ends.

That was true for me.

While there was no happily-ever-after, this story lead me down the path of personal development, which lead to the work I love.

And that?

Has made all the difference.

“…Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

- Robert Frost