Do you view life as a maze, full of challenges and competition OR as a labyrinth, an opportunity to find yourself along the path?

A maze is designed to confuse you and test your ability to solve the challenge of getting to the centre.

A labyrinth is unicursal, designed with one single path that always leads to the centre.

The Labyrinth at Rivendell

You are not born on one path or the other.

You get to choose your path.

Every single day.

Rational, logical, competitive, pressured ==> You’re in the maze.

Relaxed, present, connected to spirit ==> You’re walking the labyrinth.

Labyrinth thinking takes letting go of societal conditioning to get things done and win at all costs, ie: Who gets to the centre first? It takes letting go of traditional education’s conditioning to do it right and do as your told, ie: Follow the path exactly in order to get a gold star.

Notice your default view.

Maze or Labyrinth.

My work as a coach is not to tell you which path to choose.

It’s not about which path is right, but which path feels right for you.

If you’re alive you’re on the path.

Which would you rather walk?

Once long ago, I had a dream to do something creative with my life. As a child, I coloured, drew pictures, wrote stories and just knew that somehow that would continue to be part of my life.

At 18 I applied to art school. I wanted nothing more than to paint, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

That was my first real memory of the butterflies; seized by anxiety and fear, I chose to trust and follow those elusive fluttery creatures.

But I didn’t fit the stereotype of a brooding, starving artist. I was smart, happy, in a relationship and looking forward to my future, which in the end did not go the way I’d planned.

The relationship ended and the art dream died, along with my positive outlook on life.

Bitter, cynical and more than a little jaded, I gave up my youthful dreams and joined the rat race. The stories I’d been telling myself were more real than any reality and I was stuck.

Fast forward six years; I’m sitting in a course trying to create a new future. The trying only created a headache, not a vision that inspired me in any way. The more I tried to come up with the right words, the right future, the less inspired I felt.

I sat in my chair resigned that I would ever have what I wanted in life. So I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath. Then another. I felt the pressure ease, my mind relax. I heard the voices of my group around me, but I just kept breathing.

In and out. . .and suddenly, I heard myself say, “I want to travel, meet people and take photographs.”

I looked up and people around me were smiling. At that moment I wasn’t quite sure why. It seemed insane, a pipe dream with no way of becoming reality.

But my group encouraged me to keep those words alive, even if I had no idea how to make it happen.

So I let myself dream.

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The plan was to take a few days off, meander through rural Washington and spend some time with my husband Mark.

Masters of the road trip, we often leave town for 3-4 days with his camera and my laptop in hand.

Time together pursuing our passions. His passion for the seaside towns of the Pacific Northwest often get him out of bed early, while I settle in with a cup of coffee and my laptop. Usually, I organize or find Internet access so that I can check in. Not quite unplugged, but the volume turned down considerably.

This time however, I unplugged completely.

We wandered, relaxed, took photos, read books and enjoyed each other’s company.

Silence crept in, at first like an uninvited guest.

But I soon found myself appreciating it, my mind no longer wondering what was happening elsewhere. I know from past experiences with silent retreats that I am nourished by silence, but in the busyness of life I forget.

Be here now.

Easier said than done sometimes.

Most times.

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Guest post from Rachael Acklin sharing the evolution of her story.

I’ve been making up stories about myself since I was a child.

I used to pretend that I lived in Middle Earth, and that the woods behind my house were full of elves.

I used to climb trees and pretend that I lived out there and could fall asleep on a branch and not fall down.

As I grew older, and had a boyfriend, I told myself that I was boring and not very pretty, because a sixteen-year-old boy found me rather bland.

When I was in my twenties, I told myself that romance wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and that a husband who came home every night was better than excitement.

Later when he left me, I told myself that I was used and damaged and nobody would ever want me.

But I also told myself that I was capable of taking care of my two little kids on my own, and that I didn’t need anyone else.

Then a year or so later I decided I did need someone else, and I pretended I was happy that way.

It’s taken me years of pain and heartache, along with beautifully sunny days full of smiles and laughter and the love of my children, to see that so many of the stories I’ve told myself are pure and utter bullshit.

And that I can leave them behind, not just to write a new story, but to see myself for who I really am.

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Tia Singh is living life, feeling good and living la vida lola! It didn’t take much to entice her Lola out to share. Enjoy!

There was once a little girl who grew up in India. She was told that the path to happiness lay in reaching what society terms “success”.

She heard over and again that if she got into a good college, and got a good job, and married a good man and lived in a good home and had some good children and led a good life, well then, she would be admired and respected and happy.

Because everyone knows thatʼs what makes you happy.

She was a good girl.

And so she tried.

She tried to be a good student. She got an MBA. She got a good job. She had a nice boyfriend who wanted to marry her.

Everything was falling into place, just like it should.

Everything was right. Except, nothing felt right.

Deep down in her heart, the girl just couldnʼt make herself believe that this life would make her happy.

Deep inside, she knew that her path had no heart.

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Ever notice how Italians say “No” with attitude?

It’s a big, decisive, full-bodied NO.

Curl your tongue to form a strong N.

Follow with a short punchy O.

Learning to say no with this kind of surety is the best way to say good-bye to overwhelm and resentment.

Because here’s the thing you’ve been avoiding. . .

How did you get to this point?

It’s not tough to figure out. I’ll bet you said yes quickly and without much thought. Yeah, I know. I’ve done it too.

You’re probably inundated every day. Requests, favours, tasks and a never-ending to-do list. It’s so damn easy to get caught up in saying yes.

(Which frequently sounds like, “sure, no problem, yup, any time” said with a weary smile on your face.)

I used to be a yes gal – an automatic “let me help you with your project/job search/relationship/fill-in-the-blank” frickin’ YES!

I admit it.

I love helping others, I’m easily inspired, and YES felt pretty damn good!

Until it didn’t.

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Imagine you’re up on a diving board. Your toes grip the edge. You take a deep breath. And then…

You step back, too afraid to dive.

That was me for many years when it came to writing. I just couldn’t take the leap.

Then one year ago I read two books that changed everything: Linchpin by Seth Godin and The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.

365 days, 124 posts and over 2000 comments later.

They’re not huge numbers, but they’re meaningful to me.

Those numbers prove that I took the leap and jumped into the great unknown. Because that’s what blogging and social media were to me one year ago today.

Steven Pressfield asks, “What keeps so many of us from doing what we long to do?”

Fear. Resistance. Lizard brain.

Call it what you will, it’s alive and real.

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Halfway through a month of exploring what it takes to unleash that part of you (Lola) yearning to be set free. Today’s guest post is from my favourite creative rebel Delisa Carnegie.

I had no idea that my Lola was hiding.

How could I? I see her every day. She is ballsy, speaks her mind, is brutally honest, loyal, and sexy as hell. She doesn’t just live in my mind, people have seen her.

I have been working on building my business online and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. Then some wonderful ladies (Sandi & Catherine Caine) noticed that I wasn’t being myself online.

My Lola was hiding away. At first, I didn’t really believe them. I’m just me all the time, right? Um..No.

I was agreeable to everyone. I kept myself from saying what I really wanted to say or played it off as a joke. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I wanted everyone to love me and buy my stuff. I was being totally fake and lame (being brutally honest remember).

How could this happen to me?

I don’t do things just because everyone else does. I promote individuality and being awesome by being yourself. I was doing something I teach others not to do! I was momentarily horrified with myself.

I was ignoring Lola, shutting her up, and there may have been some duct tape involved.

I don’t know how long it would have taken me to realize on my own what I was doing or that it was the reason I was having problems attracting clients. I’m just glad it was pointed out to me.

Now, I’m working on bringing more Lola into my online presence. I’m learning to notice when I’m doing something that Lola might not be ok with. After reading the other Lola posts, I realized that our Lolas only want what is best for us.

No more making half assed attempts at things online. In one of my past blog posts I wrote, There is no doing things half assed, its full assed or nothing. If you aren’t going to give it all you got, why bother?

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This month at Deva, women are sharing their personal experiences of unleashing Lola. Today’s guest post is from the brilliant Carol Hess who shares both her memories of Lola along with her future!

Lolas I Have Known, Loved, and Hated

I’m a lucky person. I’ve known a fair number of Lolas in my life. Most of them I’ve loved because they saw my Lola and coaxed her out to play, and some of them I’ve hated because I wanted to be them so much more than I wanted to be me.

There was Kathy in high school – not like any of my other friends (a usual prerequisite for a Lola). A talented artist whose mother let her wear heavy black eyeliner that jumped out of her pale face with its light blonde hair and light blue eyes. Lola Kathy introduced me to my first and still favorite guilty pleasure – hot fudge sundaes eaten an hour before dinner.

Then there was Harv in college. I could never date him because he was a year behind me, had red hair and heavy black glasses, and painted drag-racing cars instead of marching in peace protests. But whenever Saturday night found me dateless, it usually found me in Harv’s dorm room – eating pizza, drinking beer, and laughing with Harv and the guys.

Lola Harv saw me like no man has ever seen me. Of course I was too damned stupid and young at the time to recognize what a treasure he was. Harv and I never even kissed, but he’s the one I play the what if game with the most.

After college, came a long, dry, drab, Lola-less period in my life. I was too busy being a bored to tears U.S. government employee, a self-indulgent expatriate in Africa, and a desperately unhappy married woman in Europe to attract any self-respecting, boa twirling, booty shaking Lolas.

I got divorced, moved back to the States, and started to meet Lolas again – a whole slew of them. Ari, Cheryl, Emilio, Malena, David, Marie, Emily. And life got more interesting. I was going on firewalks, dating forbidden men, discovering my writer within, working with faith healers, sobering up, defending abused women, playing with crystals, taking care of my dying mother, discovering my star polisher within.

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48 years ago I burst into being.

It was Easter Sunday, I was two months early and took my mom by surprise. She says I’ve been impatient ever since. They say patience is a virtue, but it’s never been one of mine. Mostly, I’m not too upset about that.

I love birthdays. I always have and I always will.

What’s not to like?

• Cake
• Gifts
• Parties
• Surprises
• Attention
• Celebrations
• Cards in the mail
• Candles and wishes

I love. . .All. Of. It.

48 years.

And what I know without a doubt is I’m here to live out loud. I’m here to live authentically.

And I am here to help you shine.

Some days I feel like a supernova, burning so brightly I may explode before fading from view.

There’s an urgency I’m starting to feel. I’m on a mission to live as fully as George Bernard Shaw put forth in Man and Superman,

“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations”.

Today I’m out celebrating a life well lived.

I’m not quite ready to hand over the torch, but I’m happy to share some things I’ve learned along the way.

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