When I was a kid my mom encouraged activities like music and academics. She was a bit of a worrier and didn’t encourage a lot of physical activities, sports and stuff. I grew up with books, art and music as my primary interests.

But I really, really wanted to do all that other stuff.

I especially wanted to play baseball. One year I pestered her long enough that she agreed. I tried out, made the team and then soon after broke two fingers; my budding baseball career in ruins.

Summer camp? Not going to happen.

There was no way Mom was going to let me (or the siblings) head off into the wild blue yonder without her!

And so I dreamed of summer camp with its cool activities, late night conversations in the cabin, and singing ’round the campfire.

But alas, I never went.

Fast forward 40 years. . .

I comment on an article written by my friend and colleague Jenny Bones which sets off a fit of giggles as we imagine being friends as kids. It’s the kind of quick online conversation that leaves me grinning as I get back to work.

A few days later my phone rings and it’s Jenny B on the line.

She’s excited!

She’s got an idea, a proposition really, and says I’m the gal she wants to collaborate with. An hour later (after much hilarity and snorting of the out loud kind) we have a vision, individual to-do lists and excitement bubbling over for our new adventure together.

Oh. My. God. So much laughing! My core values of fun, connection and creativity, were all vibrating like perfectly plucked guitar strings. (They play guitar around the campfire, don’t they? So sad that I don’t know these facts!)

Before I tell you what this has to do with summer camp, I want to shine the light on something that happened between us – and it happened so fast it could have easily been missed.

If you’re not open to it, you won’t see opportunity when it comes knocking.

Jenny and I were both wanting to create something new and we were open to possibilities. So after the play and ease of our conversations, Jenny saw an opportunity and grabbed it (she’s good like that!)

She didn’t wait for the stars to align.

She didn’t try to figure it all out before calling me.

And once on the phone she didn’t try to convince me.

She simply let her enthusiasm compel her forward, first in picking up the phone, and then in sharing her excitement.

That, my friends, is how great ideas manifest into real world results.

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What might happen if you acknowledged your gifts openly?

Would your lizard brain raise its head and demand silence or. . .would it allow you to shine the way you’re meant to?

Let’s put it to the test, shall we?

I’ll go first , then you let it rip in the comments.

Things I’m deeply proud of

1.  I completed an honours degree in Fine Arts with a dream of making my way in the world as an artist.

While I never made it to the New York art scene, my passion for art oozed into other areas of my life and creativity, one of my core values, was honoured.

2.  Less than a year after knee surgery I ran a half marathon.

After the surgery the doctor gave me a list of things I should no longer do (included running and dancing) – I was 33 and decided to to prove him wrong.

It may not have been the smartest thing to do, but according to Sally Hogshead’s 7 Triggers of Fascination my primary trigger is rebellion (not so surprising!) so what I did totally makes sense.

3.  I’ve been self-employed for almost 12 years, first as a photographer and then as a coach.

There are so many resources now to help you leave the corporate world, ditch your boring job, and design a life you love. Twelve years ago, not so much.

I didn’t come from a long line of entrepreneurs and looking back, I really had no clue how great the challenge. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, following a vision and correcting course as required.

Credentials (or proof-that-I’m-the-real-McCoy)

1.  I’m a Solution Focused Coach, on a mission to wake you up from your ‘someday thinking’.

I’ve got close to 7,500 hours of coaching under my belt (a Master Certified Coach credential requires 2,500 hours) and have worked with hundreds of amazing people over the years.

2.  I am certified in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming).

I love personal development, and one of my favourite areas of study has been NLP.  Google it and you’ll find over 57,600,000 results but the definition I like the best - finding ways to help people have better, fuller and richer lives. Says it all for me.

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Ever notice that nothing much happens in your comfort zone?

Makes me wonder why we try so hard to stay in it when the magic is all out there in the uncertainty we call discomfort.

An Example, An Admission and A Lizard

About a month ago I was invited to be a guest on Radio Enso, a radio show whose purpose is to inspire conscious living. I was delighted to be contacted and said yes to host Greg Berg’s invitation.

Immediately after the excitement of the yes came a shiver of fear. Not surprising as fear and excitement are so often companions. Leo Babauta calls this Joyfear, “a mixture of intense joy and intense fear in one ball of powerful emotions.”

Oh yeah, could I relate!

Fast forward to the day of the call and my old pal Lizzie (my lizard brain) reared her head and began a very loud onslaught on my confidence. Even though I’ve done a fair amount of public speaking, including presenting and teaching programs, the level of anxiety I felt an hour before the call was intense. You could say that Joyfear had been replaced by panic.

It affected me mentally (what the hell am I going to talk about?), emotionally (why did I say yes?) and physically (I’m really not feeling well; maybe I should cancel!)

It had been a long time since I’d felt such a strong reaction from Lizzie and she really got my attention!

So why the confession? 

Because over the years I’ve had hundreds of conversations about overcoming fear and causing breakthroughs in confidence.

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In random order, 23 things I love about coaching:

23. The intake of breath I hear when you are about to go deeper than expected.

22. Emails that share your excitement about a new project!

21. The reciprocity of the coaching relationship. I get as much as I give. Every. Single. Time. 

20. Conversations about values.

19. An impromptu voicemail message with a joy-filled update! 

18. Fanning the flames of your greatness.

17. Holding the space for you to step into the unknown.

16. Waiting for you to call, thinking of who you are and what you’re up to in the world.

15. Text messages sharing a win that you couldn’t wait to share!

14. Silence. . .sometimes uncomfortable, more often sacred.

13. Being with “I don’t know” instead of being an expert.

12. Connecting with people all over the world.

11. Igniting your desire to go where you’ve never gone before.

10. Switching up my hats – from cheerleader to kick-ass, from accountable to woo woo – I love it all.

9.  Laughing with delight when you get that you KNOW what to do next!

8.  Meeting in person when possible and hugging the you I know so well over the phone.

7.  Asking a question that leaves you speechless.

6.  Sharing my own journey and knowing we’re on the same path.

5.  Eliminating an old belief that’s kept you stuck.

4.  Letting you know I believe in you.

3.  Crushing your someday thinking.

2.  Lulling your lizard brain to sleep. Shhh. . .

1.  Watching you share your gifts with the world.

For these 23 and so many more, being a coach is what I’m here for and YOU are why I do what I do.

BURNING QUESTION:

What is your relationship to excitement?

Confession time. . .I’m easily excited.

You weren’t really surprised, were you?

Truth is, some days it hardly takes anything at all and I’m lit up like a roman candle! 

I think of it as a way of being AND my relationship to the world.

Maybe that sounds Pollyanna-esque.

Maybe you think I’m wearing rose-coloured glasses, totally out of touch with reality.

But (and this is a very important but). . .

if it feels good and empowers you why would that be a problem?

I’ll tell you why; because our conditioning begins in childhood with phrases like:

• Rein it in.
• Settle down.
• Don’t show off.

And you learn how to turn your excitement right down to a manageable level or even worse, suppress it completely.

That my friends, is a sad state of affairs.

(more…)

“There are four questions of value in life. . .

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

What is worth dying for?

The answer to each is the same.

Only love.”

- Don Juan de Marco

I’m a doer.

I like action. And results.

I really like results and making things happen.

But it’s a fast and slippery slope to a driven kind of energy that stops feeling good before I’ve reached the bottom.

The drive, the doing, the “making things happen” . . .all get in the way. (more…)

Boy meets girl. I was 16.

Boy & girl grow up together.

Boy gives girl ring. Promises future.

Boy leaves girl. No longer a girl. I was 30.

The facts don’t tell the whole truth.

They rarely do.

For how could these simple facts tell the story of first love, promise and heartbreak without being a cliché?

I once read that however long a relationship lasts is how long it will take to get over it when it ends.

That was true for me.

While there was no happily-ever-after, this story lead me down the path of personal development, which lead to the work I love.

And that?

Has made all the difference.

“…Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

- Robert Frost

No one does it alone.

It’s easy to forget that.

Maybe your past has turned into a story about why:

• you can’t or won’t ask for help
• you should suck it up and do it yourself
• you can’t trust others to be there for you
• fill in the blank. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .with whatever story is true for you.

But everyone needs help sometimes. Especially those of us who think we can go it alone.

It’s tough to talk about; God knows I don’t like admitting it.

But here’s the truth I know today. . .

No one can or should do it alone, and even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.

We’ve all got stories, plenty of them, but those stories suck the joy out of life and lead to a dark and scary neighbourhood where your lizard brain thrives.

It’s easy to hang onto the stories and forget that you have amazing people in your life. Call me Pollyanna but I am certain that you do.

People who light you up with their joy, show you the way when you feel lost and love you no matter what.

This is a love note to them.

Dear One,

Who you are is a recent gift, for which I am grateful.

Who you are gives me comfort, and like Linus with his blanket I feel safe.

Who you are is a beacon, lighting my path when I think I’m at the end.

Who you are is love in human form; remembering your hug makes me smile.

Who you are for me reminds me of who I am for others.

Some days I have to dig deep to remember you are there, nestled safe and snug in my heart.

Some days I try to avoid who you are, for your light reflects mine. . .and I can hardly be with that.

And when you, yourself, forget who you are, come to me and I will tell you. Search my heart and you will find. . .you.

You remind me that I don’t have to go it alone.

And with my whole heart I thank you.

xoS

Who are you?

Who are you?

When someone asks this question, it’s easy to fall back on the obvious. . .

• where you’re from
• what you do for a living
• if you’re married or single

You know, the usual suspects.

But you also know how utterly inadequate (and often boring) those answers are.

You do know that, right?

Some people say they’re the sum of all their experiences in the past. They have long, drawn out stories of why they are the way they are.

Others, thinking they’re clever, declare adamantly “No! I’m better than my past because I’ll never be like my mother/father/that/them!” but that just makes their future a reaction to the past.

Which leads us back to the beginning.

Who are you really? 

And what if that answer was generative instead of related to the past?

gen·er·a·tive

I am. . .

first-born * Aries * prairie girl * ocean lover * Mediterranean * creator * listener * lover * ass-kicker * Fire Starter * wife * daughter * sister * BFF * smart * playful * passionate * writer * coach * instigator * blogger * book lover * pescatarian * extrovert * a collision waiting to happen * spark to your flame * leader * photographer * muse * gypsy spirit * cage rattler

I am all that. . .and more.

Because even that juicy list of descriptors doesn’t cover the gift that is me.

It does tell you a helluva lot more than the facts though:

Born in Winnipeg, live in Vancouver, professional life coach, married to a great guy.

Nothing wrong with those facts. They’re just a little dry.

Mostly, you haven’t got a clue who you are.

You fall back on old, familiar stories from the past. It’s easy, you don’t have to think about it, everyone does it. I get it.

But imagine playing with it a bit.

And the next time someone asks, “Who are you?” you smile so big before responding. . .

I’m a gift, who are you?

* Cue dazed, wide-eyed look of bemusement.

Sounds ridiculous, but trust me, it engages people in ways the facts will never do.

My personal favourite is “I’m a collision waiting to happen” and then I have a blast explaining what that means to me. I unwrap the gift and share my passion, my zest for life, my joy.

Because really, doesn’t joy trump facts every time?

Over to you:

Tell me who you are in the comments below.

BURNING QUESTION: 

What would you like to stop doing?

Burn baby, burn!

STOP

Stop beating yourself up with your shoulda/woulda/couldas.

Stop backing off just as you gain momentum.

Stop playing that damn comparison game.

Stop waiting for permission to do what you want.

Stop holding back because you need more training, experience. . . . . . .fill in the blank.

Stop brushing off compliments.

Stop focusing on what others say is important.

Stop adding to the to-do list that’s never getting done.

And please, STOP waiting for someday.

START

Start celebrating each and every win.

Start fanning the flames of your desire.

Start loving. . .truly, madly, deeply.

Start owning your gorgeous, luscious self.

Start reaching out, stretching up and growing inwards.

Start breathing – big, deep, belly expanding breaths.

Start sharing your enthusiasm and watch it go viral.

Start saying what you want, often and with abandon!

BURN, BABY BURN

For that’s what you were born to do.

You know it. I know it.

Hell, we all know it.

And wouldn’t it be great if we all cut the crap and burned like a roman candle?

Inspired by Danielle LaPorte’s Burning Question.