Welcome to the discomfort zone.

A place you visit infrequently for all too short periods of time.

Today however, we’re going to get comfortable with discomfort.

Is that even possible?

It absolutely is when you lean into discomfort instead of resisting.

It takes leaning into it intentionally because mostly, we’ll do anything to avoid discomfort.

“Discomfort means you’re doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they’re hiding out in the comfortable zone.” – Seth Godin

 Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.”

I say discomfort is a result of doing something new.

Every time you say yes to something new, discomfort arises. 

And resistance is never far behind.

Your resistance will look like reasons:

• why you shouldn’t move forward
• why it was a bad idea in the first place
• why you should go back to what you were doing before.

So many reasons lulling you to sleep and inaction.

Your lizard brain is like that; it will say anything to get you to stop.

Except, you keep having these thoughts and dreams. . .

Dreams so wondrous they make your heart race.

Trust those dreams, and yourself to take the next step.

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It is time to disrupt your beliefs about time. 

1.  “I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” ― Jimi Hendrix

It’s time. . .to do more of what you want.

And feel how you want to feel in life.

Stop trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.

Stop comparing.

Start living YOUR life the way YOU want.

2.  “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ― Mark Twain

It’s time. . .to stop worrying about the future and what might happen.

The future isn’t real.

It’s completely made up and you, my friend, are the author of that story.

Start saying something new for the life you say you want.

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I got nothing.

These words take me by surprise. They lurk – in my awareness and energy.

I don’t like them and I don’t want them here.

Surprising because I’ve just come from a silent retreat that nourished my soul, and provided time to rest and room to breathe.

But no words show up to fill the space.

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” – James Baldwin

Until now.

It takes admitting what’s so. Saying the words you don’t want to say.

I got nothing.

You’ve got them too, don’t you? Those times that feel blank, lost, frustrating.

Who wants to admit being there?

Not me.

And yet. . .

I shine the light on this dark, shadowy place; a place we do our best to avoid.

Because here’s the thing about ‘walking the talk’. . .

You can’t just do it when it looks good.

You can’t just do it when it looks like you’ve got it all handled.

Walking the talk is an ongoing proposition. It takes going deep into the ‘beingness’ of human being.

It’s in those moments when things don’t look or feel good; those moments that call you down to the depths, where all there is to do is. . .

Do. The. Work. 

Until you realize you do have something to share, something to offer and hopefully, make a difference for someone else.

That moment when you get from nothing to something. . .

and remember once again where real transformation lives.

The dream. . .

A Roman theatre filled to capacity. 

Me, waiting backstage for the cue to walk out and introduce the keynote speaker.

And then. . .

I become the keynote.

I look out, afraid – not of speaking, but of not getting the words right.

Afraid that my message will be unclear.

That is terrifying.

And then. . .I wake up, heart racing, message choking me in its intensity.

Everyone has a truth, uniquely their own even if the message is not yet clear.

Your work is to first, own that truth and then discover how to share its message.

“A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life.” – Hermann Hesse

My truth – I am a waker, here to rattle your cage. Even though, quite often you pretend there is no cage.

It’s not always comfortable, but that matters less than owning your truth.

For in owning what has been with you, a part of you your whole life, you claim that which is yours alone.

Yes. You have your truth.

Maybe you resist it, or make it wrong preferring another truth.

Someone else’s truth is compelling. Yours might seem hard or impossible in comparison.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

I can relate, for my truth carries the weight of “Who the hell do I think I am?”

I am a waker. I own it, even though the message is still a work in progress.

You are born with your truth, and when you think back over your life you’ll find evidence for its existence.

Times when you were reprimanded for speaking it.

Times when you felt crushed by the weight of it.

Times when you knew without a doubt you were here to share it.

It’s why you’re here.

And since this is not a new message I am conscious of the truth and the irony.

You have a kernel of truth inside, longing to be expressed in a way that only you can deliver.

Right here, right now, share it.

The truth is yours, but the journey can be ours, together.

When was the last time you said yes to something on your life list?

Distinction: A bucket list is considered to be a list made up of things to do before you die, ie: ‘kick the bucket.’ A life list is made up of things to do while you’re ALIVE. And things that make my heart beat faster should be kept somewhere special. . .not a bucket.

Back to the question. . .when?

It’s been awhile for me too.

“This is me. And I’m imperfect and I’m vulnerable and I’m afraid sometimes…” – Brené Brown

And then yesterday, I said yes.

YES.

To something that simultaneously terrifies and excites me.

I’m going to learn how to scuba dive.

On October 17 I’ll be joining my friend and colleague Jason Sugar of Breakthrough Adventures and two others in the water.

That’s Jason on the right teaching and sharing his passion!

Here’s why it’s a big deal. . .

When I was 8 years old I almost drowned, and while I don’t remember many of the details, I do remember the panic and fear of not being able to breathe.

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Someday you will die.

And that’s really the only someday thought you can count on.

The rest of your someday thoughts are like the numbered balls in an old school bingo basket. . .bouncing around, one idea on top of the other. Your dreams tumbling about willy nilly.

And therein lies the problem.

You don’t think of your dreams as possible, and you don’t give them the attention they deserve.

You mostly think of them wistfully, with a tender ‘someday, maybe’ longing.

Someday I’ll travel the world.

Someday I’ll sing on stage.

Someday I’ll be my own boss.

Each one tossed about, spinning endlessly in the basket of your mind.

Whatever your someday desire is, it’s time to get real about the fact that right now – today – it’s neglected, cushioned by the unknown and surrounded by the thousands of negative thoughts you think every single day.

From the book Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff:

“Our minds—made up of our thoughts, beliefs, and self-talk—are always ‘on.’ According to scientists, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. . . And what’s even more startling is that of those 60,000 thoughts, 95 percent are the same thoughts you had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. Your mind is like a record player playing the same record over and over again.

Still, that wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the next statistic: for the average person, 80 percent of those habitual thoughts are negative. That means that every day most people have more than 45,000 negative thoughts. Dr. Daniel Amen, a world-renowned psychiatrist and brain imaging specialist, calls them automatic negative thoughts, or ANTs.”

Basically, your someday thoughts (aka the dreams and desires you’re neglecting) are being trashed by an army of ANTs.

So, how do you stop your dream from being sidetracked by this army of negative Nellies?

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I started reading and following today’s contributor a short couple of months ago. The guy caught my attention and I have to admit I’ve been kind of mesmerized ever since (is that a ninja trick?) I’m delighted to have the 30 Year Old Ninja here sharing his passion, and when you read his thoughts on someday, you’ll understand why he’s here! 

If I Can Quit My Job To Become A Ninja, Why Can’t You Change Your Life?  

“I hate this job”

“How did I get here?”

“What did I do wrong?”

“I just want to be happy”

These are the thoughts that overburdened my mind not too long ago.

I was unhappy, burnt out, filled with anxiety, depressed. . .all the labels you don’t want to be.

Of course, the outside world didn’t know this. They thought I was ambitious, moving up the ladder, successful, “making things happen”.

They were wrong.

Isn’t there more to life than this?

Over the course of 3 years I developed and followed through on a plan that many people said “is not possible”.

The Joke

It started as a joke “If you are no longer going to be a teacher, what do you want to do?” I smiled at my friends question.

“I want to be a ninja!”

We both laughed and the conversation moved forward.

But that darn voice wouldn’t stop. The more I said it, the more I started to believe it.

“I want to be a ninja.”

At some point, I realized. . .it wasn’t a joke.

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It’s time for a wake-up call!

Do you really need to have a health crisis or extreme emergency before pursuing what you want in life?

Really?

Many people live that way, but you?

Is it really that important to stay safe, look good, and maintain the status quo? None of those things are making you happy or fulfilling your dreams so why are they still getting so much air time?

If I could reach through the screen and give you a shake I would.

And no, I’m not a violent person. I’m just really passionate about living without regrets! I admit this may seem a bit of a rant, but I’m committed to something over here and I want to make sure you know it.

I’m committed to living out loud, as fully and as authentically as I can and sometimes that gets messy.

But I’m OK with messy, and I’ll admit I even like to stir things up! Occasionally someone will suggest I tone it down a bit (Do you really need to say those things, Sandi?) and sure, I could. But I don’t want to live that way.

I don’t want to live a toned down life. Do you?

Life gets messy. It’ll never be perfect. You’ll never get it all handled.

And so fucking what.

I’m not saying it’s easy. God knows, some days I want to throw in the towel and take the easy path just as much if not more so than you do. But the truth is the easy path bores me to tears.

It’s not why we’re here.

I’m talking to you. . .the one who’s wasting your genius in that life-sucking job.

And you. . .the one oozing creativity in everything you do except for your work.

And you. . .the one who daydreams of living a life you love.

Someday. Maybe. Can you hear the death bell toll?

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Tomorrow you’re going to take that trip; you know, the one you’ve always dreamed of.

Tomorrow you’re going to write that book; you know, the one that’s been burning inside you forever.

Tomorrow is going to be the day you have fun; no really, the whole day just to play like a child.

But the days turn into weeks, and then into months.

The tomorrows add up and turn into years.

And you look back and wonder. . .

What the hell happened? 

They say time flies when you’re having fun.

Ha! It also flies when you’re saving up your tomorrows.

But. . .

What if today you did something different?

What if today you took one new action?

Because here’s the thing. . .

You’ve said tomorrow far too often and far too long.

You know it’s true.

It’s time to start saying (and doing) something new.

NOW.

Like shifting from someday thinking to ==> “Hell yeah, what one action can I take today?”

Like hearing your lizard brain and saying ==> ”Screw you Lizzy! I’m gonna make that call!”

Like listening to your heart’s desire and saying ==> “YES, I hear you now.”

Others have done it.

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The Vagabondage Series:  Elana Baxter on lizard busting.

I recently became aware of just how much and how often my inner critic pipes up to tell me how badly I am doing things. How much better, more productive, kinder, and more __________I need to be.

And when the critic isn’t telling me that, it’s attacking my body, eating habits, parenting, cooking and cleaning.

Be more!

Do more!

It’s a constant rant punctuated only briefly by sneaks of quiet.

I have come to the only sane conclusion that a woman experiencing this incessant haranguing can. . .

The inner critic must die or at the very least it must be sedated. Heavily.

I am tired of beating the shit out of myself. Every ounce of energy spent hating on myself, nitpicking, correcting, disallowing and crapping down my own throat!

I can’t get that energy back. And I can’t get the time back.

It’s gone. Forever.

Here’s what I do in order to allow some space and begin showing myself some love and compassion.

I disarm the voice.

You know the voice, right?

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