a new beginning and
all possibilities exist.

imaginal cells resting
inside their cocoon.

resolve is not needed
in this primordial goo.

just rest and trust,
and patience.

one cell,

two,

then many.

a you unlike any other.

the imaginals know
what to do and…

what

not

to do.

the newness of you will
emerge when ready.

a chrysalis falling away…
exposing, releasing.

imaginal you,
the end result assured.

more you than ever before.

more fully your Self

more fully alive.

this you, not you,

yet perfectly you.

the past is done.
your cocoon, self-imposed,
no longer needed.

take flight.

“Amidst life’s busyness, we need ways to slow down, turn our attention within, and reconnect with ourselves.” - Karen Horneffer-Ginter

Self-care, for almost everyone I’ve worked with in over a decade, is an ongoing challenge. For the purpose of this post I use the term self-care to refer to the care of mind, body and spirit.

For many, the challenge is obvious, showing up in the physical: do they get enough sleep, does their diet nourish them, etc.

For others, the majority it often seems, the challenge reveals itself in the emotional or spiritual realms, which is not as easily seen or remedied.

Full Cup, Thirsty Spirit is a book that speaks directly to this challenge.

Written by Karen Horneffer-Ginter, it touches on the most personal and challenging aspects of self-care in a world that often has us running like a hamster on a wheel.

“We live in a world of constant movement, and our day-to-day lives seem to get busier by the hour. Our days are full of information, full of obligations, full of friends and family, full of everything…except fulfillment.”

This statement is true for far too many people. The busyness and stressors of daily life can easily become overwhelming, and self-care is usually the first thing to go when faced with a time or energy crunch.

So, how do you deal with this challenge?

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Sandra Pawula shares a timely reminder and a simple way to add meditation to a busy life. 

 We know that meditation is good for us.

• On a physical level, meditation can reduce your blood pressure, boost your immune system, diminish chronic pain, and that’s just for starts.
• Emotionally, meditation brings greater calm, a feeling of spaciousness and a sense of humor about the vagaries of life.
• Spiritually, meditation is the path to become truly human: loving, patient, understanding, forgiving, clear yet relaxed and playful.

Yet, we resist. We moan and groan, “There’s not enough time.”

We keep putting meditation off until tomorrow, next week, next month. Until illness or death arrives and we’re twisted by fear, wracked with regret.

How can we die peacefully if we haven’t tasted peace of mind in life?

There’s one simple and immediate solution to the problem of no time: Meditate Right Now.

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My description of a silent retreat is this. . .

Does the concept scare you?

When I talk about my love of silent retreats I often hear comments like,

“I could never do that!”

“That kind of silence scares me!”

“Why on earth would you do such a thing?”

But what I’ve learned from many retreats into silence is this. . .

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Too many people are headed for burnout. Maybe you’re one of them.

“Burnout is nature’s way of telling you, you’ve been going through the motions your soul has departed; you’re a zombie, a member of the walking dead, a sleepwalker.” – Sam Keen

Because here’s the thing. . .

No one is immune.

I’m pretty sure even the Dalai Lama has to manage this to some degree. It’s part of the human condition, and we all go through it from time to time.

Sometimes it’s because you don’t know how to say no.

Other times it’s due to overwhelm of the awesome kind. There are simply too many great things to do, attend or take part in.

Either way, burnout is imminent.

“Just like there’s always time for pain,
there’s always time for healing.” – Jennifer Brown

If you’re too far gone down the path, you may not be able to avoid it.

The good news is, you don’t have to stay stuck there.

So grab a notebook and a pen. We’re doing this the old school way. 

Ready?

MAKE TWO LISTS: 

List #1

Start with Danielle LaPorte’s infamous ‘stop doing’ list. 

Sit yourself down and get real.

I start with everything that’s currently on my plate – commitments, promises, projects, whatever.

Then I go through the list letting myself feel whatever energy comes up.

If my gut winces or my brow furrows, I get rid of it.

Do this with integrity.

If other people are involved, let them know where you’re at. Clean it up, repromise, change your mind – it’s all good when done in service of you being of greater service, to yourself and others.

If your gut flutters and you smile as you look at the item on the list, it’s a keeper.

It’s not rocket science. Trust your body. It never lies.

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Wisdom and fireworks from the fabulous Nikki Groom! 

“Wouldn’t it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out.” — Alan Cohen

I try to bury the memory of my first-ever relationship. Implosively sparking with obsessive affection, I was flattered at first, then unhappy always — lacking the magnanimity to walk, coerced into staying. He was fiercely manipulative and compulsively deceptive. “I love you” on my part was a reflexive response, an empty phrase, a buffer from the truth.

He would never hit me, but when we fought (often) and I tried to walk away, he would bind my arms to my sides and wrestle me into submission. I had to move an hour away to university before I summoned enough mettle to end things over the phone. And, after that, I had to endure impromptu daily calls until I told him “No more.”

My family and friends were relieved — without exception. Their smoldering discontent had been the backdrop to our entire
relationship. I suppose they thought I needed to get him out of my system. It was harder to get him out of my life. He’d call
indiscriminately, months (sometimes years) later — even the day before his wedding to someone else.

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This time of year inevitably brings up spring cleaning plans of the physical space, both body and home. But that wasn’t enough for me and I began a month-long focus on spring cleaning from the inside out.

Including a detox of the mind.

de·tox

verb – to rid the body of poisonous substances

How do you know if your mind needs a detox? 

Notice how often you think negative thoughts (yes, these are poisonous substances.)

Notice how often you compare, criticize and complain.

With enough time, these ways of being become habitual and toxic, and left alone long enough they will become default; like running on auto-pilot. Which wouldn’t be so bad except this pilot does not have your well-being as a priority.

You may not realize how much that auto-pilot (aka: lizard brain) has taken over your thinking. You may not yet have connected that drained feeling you often experience to the thoughts you repeatedly think and the stories you live like the truth.

Mostly, you probably think if you just took better care of your body you’d have more energy. But it’s not that simple because you are a system, a trinity of mind, body and spirit and if one part is neglected it has an impact on the whole.

Just like the crap that accumulates in your body when you don’t take care of yourself, your mind gets bogged down by crap of another kind, and rather than pretend it’s not there, sweep it out and make room for something new.

So where do you begin this detox?

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According to Wikipedia, spring cleaning is the practice of thoroughly cleaning a house in the springtime. According to Martha Stewart, it’s a bit more detailed with a three page checklist celebrating the satisfying rite of the annual clean.

Once upon a time, I was enamoured of all things Martha. What? Don’t look so surprised!

But then I grew up and realized picture perfect cakes and anal-retentive holiday decorating was not my style.

So why am I talking about Martha?

Because underneath the surface of all that spit-and-polish, handmade, homemade OCD there are nuggets of wisdom to be found – kind of like finding that favourite shoe that’s been missing for months under the couch!

Her spring cleaning checklist suggests going through your home, room by room, with a detailed list of tasks. And while that’s all good, and I’m sure my home could use that kind of attention, my mind-body-spirit could use it even more, so that’s where my cleaning strategies and I are focused.

A new perspective on spring cleaning! 

Spring Cleaning from the Inside Out

Mind / Office

One of the great things about working as a life coach is the opportunity to continually do my own inner work.

For me to give my best, I have to make sure this ‘room’ is spacious and clear. That doesn’t mean I have to be perfect and have everything handled, but that I regularly take a look at what’s working and not working in my own life and business.

Working with Jenny Bones in creating the Summer Camp for Solopreneurs has presented this kind of opportunity. As we’ve created the Camp’s curriculum, I’ve uncluttered my schedule to make time for more work I love, and am in the process of clearing physical space in my office.

While I’m amazed at what I get done with the stacks of books and materials around me, I also know I’m more productive and intuitive when my physical world is clean and clear. This creates room to move, and space to breathe and create.

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Virginia Satir wrote the following poem after a session with a young client who had a lot of questions about herself and what life meant.

We all have those questions.

But it’s easy to forget and think we’re alone. During a challenging time in my life I read this poem often. It made a profound difference for me.

It spoke straight to my heart, and soothed me.

In a world that could use more love and kindness, I share it with an invitation to be kind – to others and most especially yourself.

I am me.

In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.

There are persons who have some parts like me,
but no one adds up exactly like me.

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I woke up early, awakened by a belly grumbling with hunger.

What do you hunger for?

I like feeling the hunger.

It reminds me there are many things in life I hunger for, perhaps some days, even long for.

I hunger for solitude.

Time alone, away from the demands of people and life. I hunger for the silence that becomes my companion in the solitude.

“I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” – Henry David Thoreau

I hunger for freedom.

To do what I want when I want. And even though I mostly live my life this way, some days I want freedom from all responsibility.

I hunger for intimacy.

I long to move beyond the superficial, the comfortable, the ‘normal’ and surrender to the intimate and connected.

“…available people are the ones who are dangerous, because they confront us with the possibility of real intimacy.” – Marianne Williamson

I hunger for the unknown.

I want to share myself beyond what I already know, where I’ve already been.

I hunger for openness.

Self-preservation and protection sometimes sneak in and make me forget.

“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.” – Chuck Palahniuk

I hunger for the deliciousness of life.

Life sometimes seems a buffet; a dilemma because I like choice but don’t always want to choose.

I hunger for fire in the belly.

For light and passion, for giving it my all, thoroughly used up when I die.

“Good men and good women have fire in the belly. We are fierce.” – Sam Keen

Over to you:

What do you hunger for?

What nourishment is missing that might make the difference?

Inspired by Rachel Cole.