I heard a Hawaiian phrase recently – malama pono - which means ‘take good care of yourself’ and I wondered, do you? Do you take care of yourself the way you know you should or do you coast through life taking your health and well-being for granted?

I know I don’t always take the best care of myself, distracted by business, commitments to others and yes, I admit it – sometimes laziness.

What? A life coach admitting to laziness? Not too common I know, but hey I’m human and I’ve got my challenges just like you do!

It’s been four months since I first focused on self-care in the month-long homage. Four months during which time my focus has waxed and waned as reliably as the moon.

And it makes sense that I’m thinking of it again now as I’ve been in Maui the past two weeks and self-care has been effortless, creating a sense of well-being and joy I haven’t felt in a very long time.

This focus on self-care and joy was partly inspired by Andrea Olson’s recent post 100 Tiny Pulses along with Martha Beck’s Joy Diet, not new but an empowering menu of daily practices for a happier life. But more on that in a minute.

While here in Maui, this is what effortless has looked like.

Typical vacation day:

• Up between 6-6:3oam
• 15 minutes of meditation (sometimes watching the horizon for whales)
• Breakfast of fresh fruit, yogurt, maca and nuts
• An hour or two of writing
• Day’s activity
• Picnic lunch made with fresh local ingredients
• Lots of walking and fresh air
• Healthy dinner, usually grilled with fresh veggies
• Asleep by 10:30pm

What’s important to note about this regime is this – it’s pretty simple, and more importantly it’s sustainable.

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Once upon a time you were comfortable in your skin.

It may have been a long time ago, but you were.

You were born that way – fully, completely at home in your skin.

And then something happened.

Someone did something, someone said something. Self-consciousness was born and with it discomfort, as if your skin had become too tight.

What if you could go back to that time and remember the glorious feeling of “bien dans sa peau”?

Bien dans sa peau – literally translated means feeling well in your skin, at ease with yourself.

Well in your skin. 

I want that, don’t you?

“As if you were on fire from within. The moon lives in the lining of your skin.” – Pablo Neruda

Well in my skin. . .I’m not sure I know what it means.

My curiousity aroused, I want to find out.

“it ain’t no sin, to take off your skin and dance around in your bones” – Tom Waits

If you’ve resolved to become more fully yourself, this is an invitation to explore and rewrite the story of who you are in your skin. For what gets in the way is most definitely a story you’ve listened to and repeated far too long.

Now is the time for a new story to emerge - a story of wholeness and being in your skin exactly the way you are.

And exactly the way you’re not.

You.

Fully yourself.

In your skin, on fire from within.

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” – Brene Brown

Over to you:

• Feel how your old story shows up in your body.
• Now imagine wellness in your skin.

Which do you want more of?

I want to hear from you.

Tell me your thoughts in the comments below. 

Prompted by Week 3 of A Year With Myself, a year-long adventure in empowerment.

I love it when people I know and respect create work that I’m happy to

a) take part in, and

b) promote.

The Day of Genius fulfills both of these criteria.

Plus it’s an awesome opportunity to create something together in a creative, supportive environment! So without further ado, here are the details:

What: The Day of Genius

When: January 8, 2012

Who: Michelle Nickolaisen & Melissa Dinwiddie & YOU

Why: Can you think of a better way to start the new year than tapping into your genius?

Where: It’s a virtual retreat, so the where is wherever you’ll feel most at home, comfortable and ready to create something new for the coming year!

What. . .you say you’re no Leonardo or Einstein?

Not to worry, Michelle and Melissa have got your back with a day that includes 5 workshops and 5 faciliators that will get your creative juices flowing.

Whenever I want to change anything in my life, I know that the likelihood of success is much greater when I do it in the company of like-minded folks! It’s not even just my thing, there are stats that show this. The American Society for Training and Development offers the stats below.

Let’s say you’re all inspired to make 2012 a great year. You’ve got the right feeling, you’ve created a game plan, you’re ready to go!

Here’s what typically happens to your odds of succeeding: 

If you just hear an idea – 10%
If you consciously decide to adopt an idea – 25%
If you decide when you’ll do it – 40%
If you plan how you’ll do it – 50%
If you commit to someone else that you’ll do it – 65%

AND when you make yourself accountable to the someone you’ve committed to, the odds increase dramatically to 95%!

I know. Pretty clear why you should do this with me, right?

Bonus: Melissa & Michelle have generously offered a $25 discount when you register using the code deva.

This is turning out to be a win/win/win, my favourite kind of scenario!

Need a bit more?

The Day of Genius is a series of inspirational live streaming video workshops, workbooks and individual coaching / “hot-seating” that will bring your focus back to YOU. In this relaxed, supportive environment you’ll gain the clarity and optimism you need to make positive changes in your life.

At the end of the Day of Genius you’ll have discovered the tools you need to create sustainable habits that nurture your body and your soul.

And after the month-long homage to self-care it’s pretty clear how important I think it is both personally and professionally!

If you want to make changes, but aren’t sure where to begin, the Day of Genius could be the best gift you give yourself all year.

Seriously, you’ve got nothing to lose but those pesky resolutions which you just might make if you go about this on your own!

Join me at the Day of Genius and let’s begin an inspirational journey that will make a difference to rest of your year.

p.s. We can even wear our PJ’s in the comfort of our homes!

Ready?

* I am participating in the workshop, but I am not an affiliate. When you register you’ll be receiving Michelle and Melissa’s generous discount as a contribution to my readers. Yup, they’re awesome people and I’m pretty sure they’ll inspire you too!

My soul is nourished by a generous helping of the following ingredients:

a period of silence and solitude

+

space to breathe

+

time with my Self

+

beauty to stir my spirit

=

soul food of the most nourishing kind

“Dreams nourish the soul just as food nourishes the body.” –             Paulo Coelho

Repeat as needed.

#reverb11 is a prompt driven writing project during the month of December. Its purpose is to inspire reflection and create intention for the coming year.

This post was prompted by Day 10 – Soul Food: How do you nourish your soul? 

In her great resource the 66 Day Self-Care Challenge Workbook C.A. Kobu suggests listening to your body on Day 8.

“Your body has a story to tell you. In order to take better care of your body, you have to find out about its needs. And the best way of discovering what will nourish and nurture you is to simply ask yourself.” – C.A. Kobu

If you’ve never asked yourself this type of question, you might be surprised at how your body responds, how willing it is to communicate.

Your body has a story to tell. Your job is to listen.

Listening to your body is about letting its messages come through; messages you’ve ignored or avoided, messages overshadowed by the busyness of life.

Not listening has a significant cost to your well-being as I remember so well.

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If every behaviour has a positive intention, instead of flogging yourself and donning a hairshirt, why not look back and see a lifetime of you taking care of you?

Shaking your head in disbelief and doubt? I know, I hear it from clients all the time. I’m not going to lie, I even have to remind myself now and then.

But think about it like this for a moment. . .

You wouldn’t keep doing the things you do unless there was value for you in there somewhere. You just wouldn’t.

The stuff you do that feels good ==> positive intent.

ie: You buy organic because it’s healthier for you and better for the environment, which leads back to you feeling good.

The stuff you do that you suffer about ==> positive intent.

ie: You ate the stale cupcake because in that moment you felt sad about a friend that passed away recently, which lead to a need for comfort and the cupcake reminded you of your mom and how she used to bake treats for you as a kid (comfort), which leads back to you feeling good.

See? Positive. 

Whether it looks healthy and organic or iced and stale. . .all positive.

Are you getting this?

That’s why everything you do is self-care in some way.

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Mea culpa.

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve cared for you, cherished you the way you so deserve.

Mea corpus.

My body, strong, resilient, reliable. . .oh how I’ve neglected you.

It’s time for a heart to heart. To make amends.

Do you know you’re beautiful exactly the way you are?

No? That saddens me and yet I’m not surprised. It’s not something I’ve often said to you, is it.

Mea culpa mea corpus.

For I should have made sure you knew. I didn’t.

Instead, I focused on my mind, showering it with love and attention. You, got very little, and still you thrived, glowing with health for most of my life.

Have I thanked you?

No? That saddens me too for I pride myself on being mindful, appreciating the good in my life.

And you have been so very good.

Mea culpa.

I know you’re tired, and a bit worn out but I have finally heard your whisper. I am so grateful you have not given up.

The time has come and I’ve promised to give you my full attention.

My heart and devotion.

I have a lot to make up for, but I’m willing.

Mea culpa my beautiful body.

It’s time for a new beginning.

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” – Maya Angelou

Over to you: 

• Write a letter to your body.
• Ask forgiveness for however it’s gone to date.
• Then create and promise a new future.

This is an exercise from the 66 Day Self-Care Challenge. Take part in the challenge by commenting and using the #66days hashtag and connecting with me and C.A. Kobu on Twitter. Download the workbook  and leave a comment below. 

Just imagine your mind, body and spirit after 66 days of self-care and self-love. 

What if the 66 day challenge could be like this poem by Hafiz?

I used to live in a cramped house with confusion and pain.
But then I met the Friend and started getting drunk and singing all night.
Confusion and pain started acting nasty, making threats with talk like this;
If you don’t stop that – all that fun – we’re leaving. 

I’m not suggesting we all get drunk, but the idea behind it, the positive intent Hafiz suggests – that fun could make the difference to a challenge – IS appealing.

What if these next 66 days could be fun, at least some of the time?

And what if you could lighten up just a little. . .or even a lot?

There’s no right way to do this thing.

The 66 day workbook is an awesome resource but it will make no difference if you feel dominated by it. I’m suggesting you use it in a way that works for you, because being rigid is never a good idea. Ever.

So, if the exercise portion seems too intense => chunk it down to what you CAN do, and do that a little each day.

And if you’re intimidated by the idea of meditating => start with 5 minutes daily for the first week.

This is YOUR self-care process and you get to say how it’s going to go, and what it’s going to include.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, no matter how good the solution.

The more willing you are to use the workbook and adapt it to your needs, the more likely you’ll see results.

Me? I’m going to crank some music and dance for 5 minutes!

Take it easy, take it easy 
Don’t let the sound of your own wheels 
Drive you crazy 
Lighten up while you still can 
Don’t even try to understand 
Just find a place to make your stand 
and take it easy 

- The Eagles

The idea for this homage to self-care came out of a conversation with Cadi Jordan and Tara Cieko over lunch some time in early September. There we were enjoying lunch, conversation and a little pampering, when we found ourselves wondering how we could take better care of ourselves in general.

The three of us are extremely capable business women, but we noticed we didn’t always look after our own well-being the way we look after others. Business, clients, family. . .all frequently took precedence. Sad, but true and not unique to us as this comes up often for many of my clients.

Of course that got my little grey cells working!

What would it take to commit to self-care for one month?

That’s the question that got me thinking. As a solution-focused coach I’m all about finding ways to move forward rather than focusing on the ‘right’ or perfect solution, and in my experience that often takes getting creative and getting support.

Years ago I did a year-long personal development program with a core belief that anything you want is available through community. And so I began by reaching out to my network of coaches and consultants with a passion for human potential.

And what an extraordinary group of people I’m blessed to know. I was reminded of the saying, “if you can make a dream happen on your own, your dream’s not big enough.”

Improving or honouring your self-care may not seem like a big dream to some, but when you’re struggling in this area of life, feeling more energized and taken care of is HUGE.

But where to start?

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The Homage to Self-Care continues with C.A. Kobu delivering a generous helping of wisdom and self-care resources! 

You’ve been reading fantastic articles about self-care during this month-long Homage to Self-Care.

You learned about different methods of practicing radical self-care.

“Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional and mental states.” - Carol Welch

You realized you could be selfish.

And you discovered the formula for an instant self-care vacation along with many other fabulous lessons.

Now you’re inspired enough to start a love affair with yourself. And the first step of that love affair is resolving to make self-care a deep-rooted habit.

• How long will it take for you to be able to say that self-care is a part of your daily life?
• When will you be able to feel the joy and comfort of having attended the needs of your mind, body and soul?

You must have heard that it takes 28 or 30 days to form a habit, but let me tell you that it’s not true.

66 Days in a Row

According to a recent research reported in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it takes 66 days on average for a healthy resolution to become an enduring habit.

This means, unless you commit to taking better care of yourself for 66 days in a row, self-care will not a become a part of your life.

It will sit there in the air just as an idea you cherish and be excited about from time to time whenever something makes you realize how much you need to care for yourself.

It will remain as a “should” or a “must” but it will never be a soothing and healing part of your daily life. Thus, your love affair with yourself will be nothing but a one-night stand.

You don’t want that, do you?

So, I’m here to challenge you to commit to a 66-day program.

Will you join me? If you do, the rewards will be terrific and you will have formed a powerful habit of daily self-care!

You can’t cut your well-being out of any part of your life, including your business. So, it’s about time you (and I) started working on this long-neglected relationship.

“Motivation is not a matter of will-power, it is a matter of want-power.” - Paul Karasik

But Be Careful About Your Motivators

Self-care should not stem from fear or blind ambition. It’s true that when you take better care of yourself, you become healthier, slimmer and more beautiful. But you should accept these delights only as the natural byproducts of self-care and not consider them the sole goal of your efforts.

In other words, commit to taking better care of yourself chiefly because you love yourself and you know you deserve that kindness.

Your Free 66-Day Self-Care Program

Each week of your 66-day self-care program includes a writing/journaling exercise, breathing and fitness exercises, meditation and/or yoga and another activity that will strengthen your relationship with your body.

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