It’s time for another damn wake-up call!

Do you really need to have a health crisis or extreme emergency before pursuing what you want in life?

Really?

Many people live that way, but you?

Is it really that important to stay safe, look good, and maintain the status quo? None of those things are making you happy or fulfilling your dreams so why are they still getting so much air time?

If I could reach through the screen and give you a shake I would.

And no, I’m not a violent person. I’m just really passionate about living without regrets! I admit this may seem a bit of a rant, but I’m committed to something over here and I want to make sure you know it.

I’m committed to living out loud, as fully and as authentically as I can and sometimes that gets messy.

But I’m OK with messy, and I’ll admit I even like to stir things up! Occasionally someone will suggest I tone it down a bit (“Do you really need to say those things, Sandi?”) and sure, I could. But I don’t want to live that way.

I don’t want to live a toned down life. Do you?

Life gets messy. It’ll never be perfect. You’ll never get it all handled.

And so fucking what.

I’m not saying it’s easy. God knows, some days I want to throw in the towel and take the easy path just as much if not more so than you do. But the truth is the easy path bores me to tears.

It’s not why we’re here.

I’m talking to you. . .the one who’s wasting your genius in that life-sucking job.

And you. . .the one oozing creativity in everything you do except for your work.

And you. . .the one who daydreams of living a life you love.

Someday. Maybe. Can you hear the death bell toll?

Replace your fear.

(more…)

Tomorrow you’re going to take that trip; you know, the one you’ve always dreamed of.

Tomorrow you’re going to write that book; you know, the one that’s been burning inside you forever.

Tomorrow is going to be the day you have fun; no really, the whole day just to play like a child.

But the days turn into weeks, and then into months.

The tomorrows add up and turn into years.

And you look back and wonder. . .

What the hell happened? 

They say time flies when you’re having fun.

Ha! It also flies when you’re saving up your tomorrows.

But. . .

What if today you did something different?

What if today you took one new action?

Because here’s the thing. . .

You’ve said tomorrow far too often and far too long.

You know it’s true.

It’s time to start saying (and doing) something new.

NOW.

Like shifting from someday thinking to ==> “Hell yeah, what one action can I take today?”

Like hearing your lizard brain and saying ==> ”Screw you Lizzy! I’m gonna make that call!”

Like listening to your heart’s desire and saying ==> “YES, I hear you now.”

Others have done it.

(more…)

The Vagabondage Series:  Elana Baxter on lizard busting.

I recently became aware of just how much and how often my inner critic pipes up to tell me how badly I am doing things. How much better, more productive, kinder, and more __________I need to be.

And when the critic isn’t telling me that, it’s attacking my body, eating habits, parenting, cooking and cleaning.

Be more!

Do more!

It’s a constant rant punctuated only briefly by sneaks of quiet.

I have come to the only sane conclusion that a woman experiencing this incessant haranguing can. . .

The inner critic must die or at the very least it must be sedated. Heavily.

I am tired of beating the shit out of myself. Every ounce of energy spent hating on myself, nitpicking, correcting, disallowing and crapping down my own throat!

I can’t get that energy back. And I can’t get the time back.

It’s gone. Forever.

Here’s what I do in order to allow some space and begin showing myself some love and compassion.

I disarm the voice.

You know the voice, right?

(more…)

Guest post by Rita Chand – Sharing the being part of human being.

I’d just hung up the phone with Sandi after calling her to help me deal with something. She had asked if I was up to writing something about this experience I was having, that it was something her readers could probably relate to. I love Sandi so saying no to her isn’t an option. Little did I know I’d be inspired to write something as soon as I hung up the phone. But she’s good like that.

“There is the risk you cannot afford to take and there is the risk you cannot afford not to take”. ~ Peter Drucker

On Monday, I found out I didn’t get a job that I really really REALLY wanted. The process lasted a month, the job was exciting and amazing and it was everything I wanted. Everything I’d been talking about for quite some time. Happiness couldn’t be found sitting at my desk day after day anymore – I needed more, desired so much more. And this job offered it.

But, I didn’t get it. After all that, someone else did.

And it’s okay. . .ultimately it is.

It wasn’t meant to be.

There are bigger, BETTER things out there for me.

It’s her loss.

And all the other platitudes that people say to make us feel better. They want to help so they say what they know to say. I appreciate that. But we all know it doesn’t help. None of those things help. And I think we know that too. God bless people for being so awesome.

My friends are sad for me. . .well actually, most of them are just sad that I am sad. They didn’t want me to move away, so some have shared they are relieved.

So yes, it is okay. Ultimately.

Does it feel okay? No. Did I cry for 2 days after? Yes.

Even at the gym. I just cried. I’m disappointed. Heartachingly, gut wrenchingly disappointed.

(more…)

The Vagabondage Series:  Elana Baxter on escaping the comfort zone.

We all have weaknesses and not just one or two.

Some of mine include English period films, glossy magazines, gossip sites and espresso. But there’s one weakness I’ve yet to divulge until today.

Worksheets.

I know, a bit anticlimactic and not even a bit risqué. But nevertheless, I have a soft spot for worksheets.

So when my coach told me she would be sending some along – not one, but some – I was ready to dive in and start neatly answering all of the questions, eager to ponder each one with focused consideration.

Then they came.

After the initial introduction discussing my favourite subjects – ideal work and living a life you love – I hurried to the next section to begin. That’s when the can of worms began to squirm uncomfortably.

List what you dreamed of as a child seemed a simple enough statement. I could do that. Plus, I’d been instructed to slap a roll of duct tape on the lizard brain in order to do the work and just write whatever felt right and true. I resolved to quietly ignore the squirming worms and move on.

Visions and memories of dancing, singing, writing, drawing, painting, playing music – they all came to the surface. I looked at my answers. All silent contemplation went up in flames. The worms started a full-fledged riot, apparently not happy in their can and my lizard brain had removed the duct tape muzzle (lizards are tricky little bastards).

I can’t dance now! I’m too old.

Singing? There’s no time for s i n g i n g!

Painting?!! Now you’re really talking a fine tune right out of your ass lady!

And so on.

Every joyous memory and hopeful vision, dismantled by the lizard and a chorus of obnoxious worms with a story to tell.

(more…)

The Vagabondage Series:  Wherein Elana Baxter slams the door on her own personal kryptonite!

Over the last week, I’ve been engaged in a form of mental hand to hand combat.

With whom you might be asking. . .

Some of the sneakiest, most crippling villains shadowing the psyches of folks everywhere as we do our best to show up, don our superhero capes and fly out into the open air to rally for a sweet, satisfaction-filled life.

You and I know them well. They are the kryptonite of action, the Achilles heel of focused intention, and the chocolate espresso cheesecake slyly beckoning from a pastry case after a long, tough day.

Allow me to introduce my UnFab Five, a.k.a. the saboteurs of

• overwhelm
• judgement
• perfectionism
• impatience
• lack of integrity

I’ve met each of these bad boys and we know each other intimately. Recently, I had the chance to chat with all of them and here for your viewing pleasure are the outtakes:

(more…)

Why do you do what you do?

Love.

Money.

Purpose?

What compels you to take action when you’re paralyzed with fear?

When the lizard rears up in its loud, persistent glory?

It’s said that if you have a big enough why, anything is possible.

People like Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Theresa, and Gandhi (the usual suspects) all started with “why.”

It was their why that enabled them to do what they did, inspiring others and achieving remarkable things.

It might sound blasphemous, but I don’t think of them as extraordinary human beings.

They were just like you and me. Ordinary people with one major difference.

They had a very BIG why.

What’s yours?

And is it big enough?

“That which is within you and expressed will set you free, but that which is within you and not expressed will eat you from inside.” – Book of Thomas

Your why is yearning to be expressed.

Why do you do what you do?

Without a clear answer to this question. . .

What the heck is the point?

So it happened again.

I admit it, Seth Godin (who you may remember inspired the start of this blog) did it again by writing about what might happen on the day everyone is pleased with your work.

It’s basically a “now what” scenario.

You spend so much time working towards that day only to feel…

• let down
• critical of the result
• and disappointed in yourself

His post also relates to what I think of as magical, someday thinking.

I know, I know. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it because you’re still living like there is, but…

There is NO some day.

And yet, every single day someone dreams of some day. You do.

Each day those thoughts move you closer and closer to a state of complacency and toleration. Months, even years go by and the dream becomes vague, a wishful memory.

For the love of God, it is time to get over this.

Which brings me to the 1% solution.

I first read about this in Ryah Albatros’s weekly Erudition and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

(more…)

Trust has been on my mind a lot lately.

You might think after so many years of personal development and almost a decade of coaching I’d be a very trusting person.

Not so much.

My lil’ lizard brain is suspicious and cynical, and you’d be amazed at the skepticism that rears its head almost every time I read or try something new. Why do you think it took me so long to start a blog and get on Twitter?

I’ve been lied to and cheated on in the game of love.

I’ve been burned by business agreements gone wrong, promises broken.

I’ve been hard done by, strung along and. . .

I know. This is starting to sound like a honky-tonk song or a dramatic, movie-of-the-week. The result is the same.

Not. So. Trusting.

I also know that you’ve got your story of disillusionment and disappointment. So, we’re in this together.

Which is great because as I said at the beginning, I’ve been thinking about this A LOT!

trust: ability to rely on another person’s integrity, strength, sureness etc. i.e. You can trust someone to do the right thing.

Read that again (this time with 3 more words):

Ability to rely on another person’s (and your own) integrity, strength, sureness.

I can say I’m not trusting, but the truth is more like I haven’t been trusting myself lately. I know you can relate to that; I hear it often from my clients:

“If only I had trusted my intuition.”

“I knew it was a bad idea and then did it anyway.”

“I had a feeling…should have trusted it.”

All familiar refrains.

Perhaps you’ve made decisions that didn’t turn out. Or you went after a dream and “failed.” And for sure those heartbreaks along the way? Serious impact on trusting yourself.

Life has been doing its thing and at some point, you decided not to trust yourself.

(more…)

Two small words that have the power to create reality.

It can be a reality that feels good, full of possibility. Or the opposite, a full on funk that has you on the couch with the remote in one hand and a bag of chips in the other.

But wait!

What if you could…

• write that book
• skydive
• learn a new language
• start a business
• have the body, career, mate, life you’ve been dreaming of?

I’m guessing those goals, or similar ones, can easily trigger your lizard brain and I can already hear the “yeah buts” that want to keep you in the funk!

What if you…

• aren’t creative enough
• are too afraid
• aren’t good with languages
• don’t have the funding…or the courage
• aren’t willing to do what it takes?

Familiar? I know, and not in a good way.

(more…)