Sometimes I am blinded by the light.

My light.

Sometimes I go to a dark and scary neighbourhood.

In my head.

It’s bleak in there.

I do my best not to visit very often, but sometimes? The pull is magnetic.

It’s a slippery slope once I’m there, but over the years I’ve discovered a few ways to pull myself out of the dark and off the slope: (more…)

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

We need to talk.

If we were dating, it’d be time to fess up (I’m on a roll, this is my second confession this week) and that scares me.

Since we started seeing each other four months ago (has it really only been 4 months?) I’ve been wanting to make a good impression, wanting to show you my “best”.

Except…

What I thought was my “best” was not. Likable, nice, funny, smart – check. My best? Not so much.

I’m saying this because I’ve had moments of:

• biting my tongue
• suppressing myself
• ignoring my instincts
• sweeping a thought under the rug

I have stopped myself in so many ways from saying what I wanted to say. But enough is enough; this can’t go on.

If I could say anything, I’d say what I wanted to say, straight up.

I’ve been afraid.

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My lizard brain is saying:

Don’t do it! Don’t blow your momentum. . .

• with a silly post
• by swearing
• by showing your feet (?)
• lots of other crazy, lizardy chatter

Fuck the lizard brain.

Since launching this blog life has been intense. Taking on the 31 Day Build a Better Blog challenge added fuel to the fire already burning and it was getting HOT!

So my guy and I packed a picnic dinner and headed down to the beach with our books. (more…)

This little fella ain't never going away!

No matter how much personal development work you’ve done, no matter how many self-help books you’ve read, there’s one thing you need to get right now. . .

Your lizard brain is never going away and it’s never going to shut up.

It’s there for your survival and we’re still here as a species so it must be doing something right. Thing is, survival isn’t what it used to be.

Our Neanderthal ancestors? They had to deal with survival; saber tooth tigers and warring tribes were a real threat! That you’re afraid to try something new and step out of your comfort zone – not so much.

So if it’s never going away and never shutting up, just how do you manage this ancient, survival driven part of your brain?

1. Talk to it

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” – Anthony de Mello

Start questioning it! One of the best ways I’ve found to talk to the lizard brain is through The Work, a process created by Byron Katie. It’s a process of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the fear that trigger your lizard brain.

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Until recently, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering if I was on the right track with my business.  Was this powerful self-reflection on my part?

No.

It was just my ol’ friend Lizard Brain, lurking in that dark, scary part of my mind, doing its best to stop me from pursuing something it deemed risky or unsafe.

For months I’ve been seized by a lethargy created by having too many options – similar to standing in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet.  And like the aforementioned buffet, this may seem appealing at first. . .until heartburn sets in.

Is it possible to have too many options?

Absolutely!

Enter the monkey mind: (more…)

About 3 weeks ago I read Seth Godin‘s new book, Linchpin. Yes, I know, I’m still talking about Seth, but hang on, you’ll find out why in a moment.

Since then, I have had more creative energy, completed more tasks and begun more projects than the previous 3 – 6 months. The difference is astounding and I feel like I’ve had a blow to the head!

We all have defining moments and reading Linchpin was one of those for me. My friend Mary raved about it until I had to read the book just to shut her up. I truly had no idea it would alter my life so profoundly.

So, what happened?

The illusions I’d created to keep myself safe fell away one by one as I read the book, and I got clear what it was costing me to not keep my word to myself. As a coach I am brilliant at supporting others to pursue their passions and take action, but left to my own devices my lizard brain can get pretty damn active.

This of course leads to suppressing myself and playing it safe, behaviour that seems pretty uncoach-like.

It’s just very, very human.

My lizard brain will do anything to keep me from being creative, taking a risk and moving out of my comfort zone. Ironically, these are all actions that leave me feeling enlivened and satisfied.

When I decided to launch this blog, my lizard brain went on high alert; I had apparently entered the danger zone and the chatter in my head got loud – really $%^& loud.

I was having panic attacks, unable to sleep and feeling worried about these weird conversations I was having with myself.

Conversations that went something like this:

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I have become a Seth Godin groupie.  In the past two weeks, I’ve read The Dip and Linchpin, the book that’s inspired me to finally take the plunge and “ship”.

I’ve thought about it, read about it, downloaded “how to” ebooks about it and so on. That’s just a few of the many distractions that have stopped me in my tracks. Each time, I’ve rationalized and come up with what I thought was a valid reason to wait. The lizard brain won each and every time.

Until NOW.

As I’ve immersed myself in Seth-land, I have felt challenged, called out and energized, all at the same time. In The Dip Seth says,

“Quit the wrong stuff. Stick with the right stuff. Have the guts to do one or the other.”

My wrong stuff (procrastinating & obsessing, wasting hours online “researching”, etc.) has been exhausting. My right stuff (hanging out with my writers’ group, even though I was barely writing) has fed my soul, however inconsistently.

Seems like an easy choice, so why has it been so damn hard to quit the wrong stuff?

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