“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Many of today’s experts and gurus forget this.

It doesn’t matter how much they know. . .if you feel uncomfortable after watching their video.

It doesn’t matter what credentials follow their names. . .if they leave you feeling less than or lacking in any way.

And it absolutely doesn’t matter how many testimonials, followers, and subscribers they have if their offer just doesn’t feel good.

The promises and guarantees make no difference unless YOU know – and feel in your gut – that making a difference for YOU was their primary goal.

“There is no point in going into a business unless you can make a radical difference in other people’s lives.” – Richard Branson

It’s easy to look to the Internet gurus and marketers, but while they are definitely guilty of this practice they’re most assuredly not the only ones doing it.

I’m talking about those long-winded emails that start by scaring the crap out of you. Then, they wrap up with a save-the-day, “let me tell you how it’s done” solution and pressure to buy their new shiny product.

I hate this as much as one-size-fits-all pantyhose! 

Because the truth is. . .

One size? NEVER, EVER fits all.

EVER.

And one solution never applies to life and business (doesn’t matter if we’re talking stockings, marketing or business building!)

There’s never just one solution, and the experts who try to convince you that there is have themselves and their self interests front and centre. Not yours.

RUN away from them as fast as you can, but only after you’ve gone back to their site to unsubscribe!

Truth is they don’t have the solution, nor do they have your interests in mind.

How do I know? They wouldn’t still be using these fear based, angst ridden tactics.

They are out to sell, which in and of itself is not the problem.

It’s that they don’t mind stretching the truth to do so.

Coaches do this too. I cringe every time I see it and it makes me wonder. . .

Does anyone tell the truth anymore?

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Problems. We’ve all got them. In all areas of life – business, relationships, finances, health, and so on. No one’s immune.

It’s common to focus on problems, which can lead you down a negative spiral faster than an army of ants at a picnic; the kind of ANTs that suddenly seem to hi-jack your brain.

But is it really useful to focus on the problems? We’re human beings not machines, which leaves me questioning this obsession with problems and fixing ourselves.

“I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.” – Louise L. Hay

Question: What Is Problem-Solving?

Answer: Problem-solving is a mental process that involves discovering, analyzing and solving problems. The ultimate goal of problem-solving is to overcome obstacles and find a solution that best resolves the issue.

Yes, problem solving is a mental process. . .that keeps you in your head analyzing!

Over and over, same problem, multiple angles, round and round until it feels like you’re deeper than ever, mired in the problem.

Yes, the intention is to get to the solution, but think about it. . .

How often has it really worked vs. how often has it kept you stuck?

“Anxiety and fear produce energy. Where we focus that energy noticeably affects the quality of our lives: focus on the solution, not the problem.” – Walter Anderson

It’s much more uncommon (and useful) to view life through a solution focused lens.

Sometimes I startle clients when I tell them I don’t care about the problem. And it’s true, I don’t. . .I care about what they want, and as soon as I can get them back to thinking about that, the sooner they feel resourceful.

You might think it’s semantics, but it’s not. It’s an energetic shift. It just feels better to focus on what you want from a solution focused view of life.

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There’s an African proverb that says, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

As any business owner will tell you, this is also true of building a business. For even those of us who call ourselves solopreneurs have people in our lives, both personally and professionally, who’ve helped us raise this child we call our work.

From the people you hire to help with the day-to-day tasks to the uncomplaining spouses and friends there to pick up the tired pieces, knowing those people have your back makes it so much more doable.

Especially when those same people remind you of your vision when you falter.

Enter the virtual village.

For me, it’s people I’ve connected with online, people who go out of their way to be there with a kind word or a quick idea, usually at just the right moment.

And it makes no difference that I’ve not met them in person.

Somehow through the magic of the interwebs, distance falls away and connection draws us together. Don’t ask me to explain it further because I can’t. I can only tell you the difference having these people in my life has made to my life and business.

When I think back to the early days of my business, I was determined to do it on my own. Firstly, my independant streak was running on turbo charge, and secondly, it was near impossible for me to ask for help back then.

The thing I didn’t realize however, was the impact of going it alone, for the costs were great, often wreaking havoc with my well-being. But like many starting out, I was naive, never dreaming I’d have to concern myself with issues like self-care.

Now I know, and I treasure this community that I’ve wondrously gathered around me.

This village is the keeper of dreams, and as such deserves acknowledgement and appreciation. For without these people, the journey would not be nearly as inspiring, productive or fun.

Celebrating a Village of Dreams:

Jenny Bones, the word witch who’s become the collaborator I once imagined. My partner in crime at the Campfire Circles and friend beyond measure in life.

Farnoosh Brock, friend and fireball of energy, from health to career transition, she’s got something for you. I count her as the one who got through my resistance to green juicing, a feat for which I am truly grateful!

Alejandro Reyes, IT guru extraordinaire who responds to my endless questions and concerns with so much patience and humour, I am sure he deserves an award of some kind.

Cigdem Kobu, the most wonderful connector I’ve ever met. What started out as an online friendship has become a sisterhood of the soul and I look forward to our calls days in advance.

Evan Austin, a newcomer to the village, and talented graphic artist who came to the rescue with the perfect images for our upcoming Back-to-School for Coaches.

The Campers (collectively and individually), who started out as my perfect people and transformed into friends, colleagues and so much more in the span of 3 months. Carol, Ellen, Sarah, Lynn, Joanna, and Nancy – y’all make me pulse with gratitude.

Amanda Farough, my local playmate whose mad designing skills make people dance with delight. I’m lucky though, for I count her as a friend who’s close enough to hug!

Rita Chand, the one I count on to remind me to own my awesome on those days I forget. Truly, this woman is a gift.

I could go on as I am blessed to have many more such amazing people in my life.

You’ve got your own village, I’m sure of it.

But when was the last time you shared your appreciation?

Over to you:

Who are your go-to folks, the ones you can always count on?

Count your blessings and send them some love today!

This post is part of the August 2012 Word Carnival — a monthly group blogging event specifically for small business owners. This month’s topic, “It Takes a Village: Small Biz Success and the Power of Community.”

Check out the rest of the fabulous carney work here:  Word Carnivals  

quirk-y

- an individual peculiarity of character; mannerism or foible

also: far-out, kinky, offbeat, way-out

Your quirks are the qualities that make you stand out from the crowd.

Are you looking at me?

Does the thought of standing out from the crowd make you sweat a little? Have you spent most of your life just trying to fit in?

Then this is your wake-up call.

When you resist your quirky bits you’re saying there’s something you can’t be with about yourself. And if you can’t be with it, how the hell can anyone else be with it?

Truth: What you can’t be with owns you.

The flip side, when you embrace those parts of yourself, not only do you stand out, but you make room for others.

All those people you compare yourself to? They’ve got their quirks too.

And all those qualities you wish were different about you? Someone out there is looking for just those qualities and you might fit the bill brilliantly!

So just how do you embrace your quirky bits?

What have people said about you your whole life?

What’s the common denominator (either +/-)?

For as long as I can remember I was told (first by family and then later by friends, and even men I dated!) that I was too intense. When I do something I go for it fully, and over the years I learned it wasn’t ok with a lot of people. They said things like, “Tone it down, why do you have to rock the boat all the time?”

So I suppressed it so that others would feel comfortable, and that suppression had a cost greater than I imagined. Suppression always has a cost, usually an impact on health and well-being.

Now imagine taking that quirk and unleashing it. . .

You can you know. . .let that quirk show up as the fullest expression of you. Think of the time and energy you’ll be freeing up as you fly your quirk flag!

When I did, I’m sure it felt like a tsunami of intensity to some people. And maybe they unfriended me, or perhaps unsubscribed (and yes, I’ve been told my writing is often too intense) because they couldn’t handle it. Guess what? That’s their issue. It’s not my job to make them feel comfortable!

But something else happened too. . .

Other people were blown away, attracted to my intensity and kept coming back for more.

Clients come to me because they want someone who’s not afraid to get in their face and tell the truth. They want someone who’s not willing to tolerate their someday thinking.

Friends, colleagues and opportunities come to me because I own this quirk completely. I’m reliable for it and it makes a difference for them.

I’d even say that my husband was attracted to me because of my intensity. Sure, it can be challenging to be with me, but the challenge causes us both to grow every time.

You don’t have to be all things to all people. You only have to be yourself and attract your perfect people.

When you embrace your quirks those people will show up, and everyone else will move on. There’s a flow and rightness to this that we just don’t talk about enough.

You could say it’s a bonus side effect of embracing your quirks – more energy and a lightness of being.

And who wouldn’t want that?

p.s.

“You have been created as one of a kind. On the planet, there has never been one like you. . .and there never will be again. Your spirit, your thoughts and feelings, your ability to reason and act all exist in no one else. The rarities that make you special are no mere accident or quirk of fate.” ~ Andy Andrews (From The Butterfly Effect)

Over to you:

1.  Make a list of your quirks.

2.  Pick the one that you’ve tried for so long to suppress.

3.  Go be that intentionally and blow people away.

Open the floodgates, unleash your quirkiness and watch your perfect people line up!

Bonus action: Share some of your silly quirks below, ie: I always eat the bottom of the muffin first and I’m addicted to murder mysteries!

This post is part of the May 2012 Word Carnival — a monthly group blogging event specifically for small business owners. (It’s the most fun you’ll have all month!) Check out the rest of the fabulous carney work here:  Word Carnivals